Decluttering and Community - Moms Need Both
Part of what I do as a work from home wife and mom is try to keep the house running at a reasonable level of efficiency. That’s the goal anyway. My efforts don't always yield the results I want. To keep things even at a functional level for me, I have to be very vigilant of clutter, even if it’s toys or dishes. When counters and floors are covered in stuff, it makes it hard for me to think and meet the needs of my family.
Since I’ve discovered this about myself, I regularly rearrange our house to find more efficient and mentally peaceful layouts that work with our living arrangements. Every time I rearrange things, I am confronted by how much stuff we have. Some of it is useful and practical on a daily basis. Some things are only used during specific seasons in the year like winter and summer wardrobes for four people. But other things— I couldn’t even tell you where they come from— they just appear, take up space, and seem too important to get rid of even if I’ve never used them.
Ever.
In the last few months, I’ve been actively decluttering and reducing our belongings. But I’m a “what if” type of person, which can make getting rid of things difficult.
Like a corkscrew. Neither my husband nor I drink alcohol for various health reasons. Our idea of imbibing in alcohol is when I forget to let the vanilla extract boil off in our homemade hot cocoa. Why do I still have at least one corkscrew?
I can’t get rid of those totes of clothes! What if I suddenly shrink four sizes and my ribcage reverts to pre-baby width?
What if we are able to get a house? I obviously need all the kitchen things I never use to fill up a space we don’t have.
How can I get rid of all the baby things? What if we get pregnant again even though there are absolutely no plans for baby #3?
I had to start asking my husband, Eric, for help in reducing things because I had run out of things that are obvious to me. He rose to the challenge, supporting and challenging me as I went through this journey.
A friend offered me some containers to help me with a specific project just a few weeks after my Empty Box revelation (Click Here to read more). It was so tempting to say yes to her offer. The containers were the perfect size for what I was needing. She had a lot of them, but I had just let go of many similar things. I had to stop and ask myself, "Are these containers something I should accept and take home? Do I really need them? Or would they make me lose progress on what I've been trying to accomplish in making our home a more peaceful place?"
The answer I came up with is no, I should not accept them. No, I don't need them. And yes, they would make me lose progress. While her intentions were good, she didn't know I had been actively decluttering because I hadn't told her. Had she known, she wouldn't have asked if I wanted more because she would have wanted to help, not make things harder.
Mothers are some of the most amazing people I know. They are warriors, nurturers, servants, and leaders all at the same time. Moms do so much, and they tend to do it all alone.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Moses was the leader of Israel (not a mom but hang with me) and he had to hold his staff up for Israel's army to win a battle against the Amalekites. As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. Exodus 17:11-12
Moses needed help to win the battle. Had he tried to keep the staff raised on his own, the Israelites would have lost. Not only did he have two people at his side helping, but he accepted their help. He didn't have to. It is easy to think we can do things on our own, but that is a lie straight from the pits of hell.
As Christians and especially Christian moms, we need to support each other. Don't let your pride get in the way of receiving the support of friends and family, especially those who have walked the path you're on.
We must stop pretending we are fine on our own. We must be open and share with each other our joys and our struggles. If we never ask for help or listen to the needs of others, how can we be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep? (Romans 12:15) How can we receive encouragement or build each other up? (1 Thessalonians 5:11) How can we share the comfort God gave us if we never share what God has done in our lives? (2 Corinthians 1:4)
In the middle of it all, we need to give all those cares and worries to God, because he cares for us. 1 Peter 5:7.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
We are not alone in motherhood. Don't believe those whispers in the back of your mind that tell you no one cares. Your struggles aren't all in your head. You need community. You need Jesus and your brothers and sisters in Christ, and they need you.
Everything you walk through has a purpose. Don't shove away the significance of what God has walked with you through, no matter how small. Everything is a part of your testimony to who God is. Even getting pooped on by your baby can be used by God because He doesn't let anything go to waste.
Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
You are not alone. You've got Jesus, and He has some mamas for you to meet. Go forth like your fearless child and make a friend this week or at least talk to more than your laundry pile.
Until next week, mamas, may the God of the universe comfort you as you walk or crawl through this season of motherhood.
Cheryl
P.S. Click HERE to email Cheryl.
Deeper Reading:
All verses are linked to YouVersionExodus 17:11-12
Proverbs 17:17
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Matthew 11:28-30
Romans 12:15
2 Corinthians 1:4
Galatians 6:2
1 Thessalonians 5:11
1 Peter 5:7